Today was my last session with my counselor. She is moving on in a week, and hopefully, so am I. We talked about the past ten months and what I've accomplished/learned, and I do feel a true sense of satisfaction. In the time I have been talking to her, I worked out my fears about returning to Purdue after a year-long hiatus, my Prelim fears, motivation issues, dealing with the members of my department who were less than pleased to see me again, and new ways of dealing with public humiliation and disdain.

Throughout this process, I learned how to deal with individuals I feel have slighted me, as well as those who simply do not like me. New methods of responding to sarcastic/angry remarks are currently employed, by me, on a daily basis. I hope that these lessons do not fade with time. Further, I learned that my offhand remarks are a maladaptive strategy for coping with others who do not especially like me.

Overall, I have made massive gains in dealing with issues on my own, looking for internal justifications for my successes and failures, in an attempt to improve myself on a fundamental level. I am grateful for everything I have learned, and I am a bit sad to see this relationship end, but I must begin to take action on my own, rather than relying on others to catch me every time I fall and receive a slight bump. These past ten months have been extremely difficult, but now I must stand taller, roll with harder punches, and turn to my friends when I need support. I can no longer rely on counseling to "fix" my daily anxieties.

I look to the future with hope that I may continue on this path, and that any obstacles I encounter will be dealt with as they approach; rather than knocking me off my feet. This is the only way I will be able to continue to grow into the man I am supposed to be.