Today was a semi-wasted day. I taught the first half of my theory lecture, which was sort of cool. I do love teaching. Two students decided to sleep through my lecture. Fuck them. One of the two women who spent the entire class staring at me decided to do so again...awkward (she sits in the second row). The other girl was strangely absent. Also, a girl in a coffee shop and I exchanged stares (again). We tend to stare at each other quite often, but I had no clever words for her. Obviously she was in the same situation, as she said nothing to me either. I really need to just talk to this girl. Although I believe my confidence is beginning to show. Thankfully I also had my pimp coat on...that tends to help.

Last night I spent 2 hours on the phone with my major professor. She and I discussed my proposal, and made edits together. This paper is SOLID!!!!! She and I are both VERY happy! Now the only problem is that I have to meet her tomorrow at 4 and I have 2 books to read by then, another Dissertation proposal, and a qualitative analysis section to attempt to write. That section will scarcely be touched. Still, I am feeling rather good about things. I just wish I had read/written more today.

Yesterday was the first day of the new semester for me. My Sociology 100 class was all right, but not spectacular. First of all, there are only 7 Freshmen out of 87 students. Apparently everyone needs just one more requirement to graduate. This pisses me off because my course is geared toward Freshman and these Flunkabilly Beatniks are going to waste my time. Secondly, I handed out sheets to the students so that I could get to know them a bit. As it turns out, I have many self-described Rednecks in my class, and hardly any of my students have a plan for surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. Tsk Tsk. Not to mention, I have a student who says watching Rated R movies is against his religion, and another who asked me to stab him with an Epi-pen if she stops moving.

Add to this the fact that I did not sleep the night before I taught, I slipped and said, "fuck" once, and I'm sure I paced like I had a slight cause of autism due to the amount of caffeine I consumed before 9:30 AM.

All in all, a clusterfuck of a first day.


Last night I ended up having a panic attack that lasted an hour and a half (and was based solely on my inability to finish one section of my Dissertation proposal. I completely lost my shit in my office and ended up sobbing like I had just lost every friend I had in the span of one night.

I'm slightly better now, but I'm still on edge. This semester is shaping up to be rough--at least for the next month and a half.

Right now a steaming hot cup of joe would make my entire day better. In fact, all I want is a cup of coffee. Money, sex, power, food, zombie movies...none of these would satisfy me more than a cup of coffee. Sadly I wanted to go get coffee with someone...anyone in the department, but after five "no, I'm busy" responses from the people around me, I quit asking.

It wasn't even a sit-down experience I was seeking here people. I just wanted company in line at Starbucks so that I wouldn't sit there fiddling with my Blackberry the whole time. I hate Starbucks with a passion, and thus I was only in it for the non-coffee that tastes nothing like their usual crap. Right now I feel about as popular as an abortion clinic in St. Stephen's, so I guess I'll just shut up and go back to work.

It is currently 6:40 AM and I am walking to school. I have more than a full day today, which will be capped off with a review session I am running tonight from 9-11. That's right, I'm spending 16 hours on campus today.

I seriously hope today begins to pick up soon. I just went to my favorite coffee shop, only to find it does not open until seven. I might have waited, except I doubled the distance I have to walk by going this way, and my bookbag is filled to the point of bursting, which, in turn is causing my back to ache and spasm.

This will all be worth it when I become a doctor.